It's me..

Still born and miscarried.

What a combination to endure. 

Emotions float all over the place but one sticks... Insecurity. Makes me question every single part of my being. If you have ever suffered loss you will understand. I think all women at some point or another struggle with this. I'm to fat, not tan, to plain to whatever... Welp add to the mix can't get even carry a child. Some of you can relate. Never once thought this would be me. No one ever wants it to be them. It's me!! It's me!! Yep it's me... So I'm left asking my self what am I supposed to be doing? And I come up with all types of things... Like I'll go back to school, quit my job sell my car ride a bike or... I'll just get another job(which I did) I'll make more money to hoard the things I'll hate in a few weeks. I'll adopt, that's it.. Twins what fun that would be! I'll adopt twins!! That's a great idea! Won't even have to worry about getting fat! Which I already am. Let's open a business Timmy it will be great! I'll be your secretary! 

Or let's scratch all that and let's get real and ask God what he wants. That's where I am. A crisis of self. Not sure if that's the correct terminology. But it sounds nice. A lot nicer than the way I'm feeling. I'm not real sure what He wants me to do with this mess I have on my hands. But I want to my wash my hands with scalding hot water, dawn then some sanitizer and start over. And what a better time to do it! It's almost a new year. He knows the plans he has for me! He knows just what I need to do. I need only to ask and wait for His reply. Waiting is the part I'm struggling with.... I'm tired of waiting! 

I pray God would give you a sense of what He is up to in your life. May we see glimpses of the break threw just around the corner. May we with all our heart believe that trusting Him over what we can see, is totally and completely worth it. May we rest in his powerful promises! He has the whole world in His hands... He got the itty bitty baby in His hands... Sing it you know you want to, I am! He's got this whole thing under control. Trust, Obey and wait... Patiently wait.

Peace Love and Flamingos 

He knows just what it's like to loose a Child.

   I'm at a loss tonight, searching my broken pieces. I'm trying to find the missing pieces, glue the slivers and figure out just what God is trying to make of me. I'm not sure it's going to be pretty but I do know He has a plan.... I'm just praying for enough strength to get threw this thing called life. 

    As the holidays approach my nerves come alive like it was just hours ago that we lost our little girl. All the should haves race threw my blurry tear filled eyes and settle deep in my heart. Not a moment goes by that she is not on my mind. I think I do pretty good job at putting on the "happy face" I think....Some people I know can see right threw me. But they are few and far between. 

But... Above all the sadness I'm so very thankful for this life God chose for me, believe it or not! 

It's a life of... 

Hitting my knees faster... 

Loving stronger... 

Letting the little things go... 

And cherishing every second with my family. I'm not sure where we're headed but I know Gods got a great plan for us! 

   If your grieving this Holiday season give it all to the one who gave His Only Son so that we could be saved. He knows just how it feels to loose a child. 

  

Riley Scott Anding

Today I'll share what looks like just a picture, but it's far more. I have always known of this precious little boys mom. But recently we have gotten to really talk about our stories and she is such a blessing to my life! How sweet is this precious face and even though death stings like no other how comforting to know he is in the everlasting arms of our Savior and Lord!! 

Riley Scott Anding 

Stillborn and still changing

Geez is say... All the time. This never ending cycle of grief is ever changing. I wish I could say we were better but we're not. We're just taking life one day at a time, always thanking God for our Precious little girl. As a whole our family is growing closer together and closer to Christ. We're doing things we would have never considered before loss and honestly it's not something I would have ever been proud of, but this time To God be All the Glory. 

     It's hard to tell what's right in grieving. So I've decided there is no right or wrong just whatever makes you feel right at that moment, because every moment changes. Some days I go in Bella's room and my breath is literally taken away by grief and madness. Other times I find myself rearranging putting her stuff up and out of sight. Some days I pull it all back out and display it. I'm so proud of my little girl... So proud of how God has used us and molded us into something better than before.  Some small minded people have called me bipolar which stabs me at the core, they obviously have never lost a child. People wonder if I need help... counseling.... There she goes writing again.. Someone needs to stop her... No one wants to be confronted with grief but it's something you experience and it Cannot be ignored or forgotten. All we can do is cry out to God. He alone has the power to heal, mend or reform and this is what we're experiencing... A healing and reforming. He is slowly taking our broken pieces and shaping us into something beautiful... Taking ashes and creating a new creature. Please continue to pray for us as we face all the firsts that will never be. Pray for us as we pray for another blessing from The Lord. We're trying to be strong but satan knows where we are weak and most days his attacks lead to a night of tears. If you have lost a child I'm praying for you.. 

     Open our eyes Lord so we can see that your shaping us, Lord we need you to soften our hearts and break us apart, pierce threw the dark and cleanse every part of us. Give us Faith Lord to trust what you say. We're broken and we give you our lives. Your good Lord and your Love is Great! We may be weak but your spirits strong in us, our flesh may fail but God you Never will!!! Thank you Lord! 

   

Fairy Tales and Flamingos

I sit in my daughters empty room, shirt soaked with tears and face covered in mascara. I didn't know this would happen or I would have worn waterproof. I boxed up all her beautiful gowns and blankets all monogramed ready for her to wear and I just have to ask.. Why? 

Lord, I know that you know best...your word tells me so..

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28. 

I know you can Love her much more than I could ever dream of loving her. But why couldn't you just love her from heaven? Couldn't you just watch her from above instead of watching me fall apart? Couldn't you just give her to me for a little while? I ask why, why, why like a child. I know why.. But I ask anyways. 

You gave me her for only 9 months to show me how precious life is, because I took it for granted. You let me carry her to move mountains in my life that otherwise would still be standing. You lent her to me because You loved me that much! No matter how we raise our children were not guaranteed they will enter Your kingdom, Thank you Lord for saving her. I know she is with you! But could you please just read her fairy tales and show her the flamingos? Please tell her we miss her and that we will be there soon! 

     As a young adult I always overheard older seasoned Christians saying come Lord come, and I thought.. No you crazy people hush don't say that I'm not ready. Let me get married I want to have kids and see them graduate. I want to live on this earth for a little longer. Please don't rush the Lords coming. 

Welp here I go... Come Lord come now come quickly! I'm ready to see your face! You have prepared and seasoned me you have taken my hard arrogant heart and broken it to pieces and caused me to love like I have never loved before! For once in my life I have pure joy even as I sit in my daughters empty room and wonder what happened. I have peace that I want to be contagious. God of Wonders beyond our galaxy you are Holy!! Only You could take this girl... Who lost her beloved little girl and make something beautiful out of it! For you reading this... I'm praying for you. I pray you can see and feel my brokenness but also see Gods love and feel his presence, I pray this brings you to your knees in prayer. Maybe you haven't lost a child but just lost yourself in addiction... Jesus Saves!! Freedoms calling chains are falling!! God can make all things new!!! I'm praying for you! 

Peace love & Flamingos.. 

Bella Glen Montgomery April 8, 2014

Our Precious little girl. 

Oh how we wish you were here...

 

Philippians 3:12-14

Straining Toward the Goal 

Phillipians 2:12-14

12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 

   As I read my bible these days it seams I understand things that I have always known... but never understood. Like Lot's wife, I knew about her...but when I read the story today I understood it in a totally different way. I don't want to be like her and look back, and I surely don't want The Lord to turn me into a pillar of salt! I can't let the past control my future. I am still learning and searching for truth and the only place I have found it is in my bible. I have wanted to find it in friends and in family but it's not there... It's only their opinions. Gods opinion is the only one that matters. God is my refuge and my rock he is my salvation and the one who frees me from all unrighteousness. So. If you find me distant, I'm searching for something more than this filthy world offers. I'm searching for peace in Gods creation and His unfailing word. I'm not looking for small talk, it's not worth my soul....Im thankful for this aha moment where everything makes since. Thank you Lord for showing me your peace, love and forgiveness! 

Gods word is one of the greatest tools we have. Ask The Lord to help you model what it teaches. 

Jesus's Table

Soo.. I'm super excited. I got this awesome chair with a heart shaped back that I Love, it's torn all to pieces but beautiful and I love it just the way it is! Today I was cleaning and moving around and placed it at our table, tears started flowing immediately. The chair reminds me of my heart broken ,torn and raveled. It also reminds me that God has something better. The chair could be fabulous with a fresh coat of paint and some fabric. God wants to take us and remake us into something beautiful. As I will the chair. The chair is now Bella's seat at the table. She will always be with us, in our minds and hearts at every single meal we eat. The pillow in the chair is from her bedding! I'm so excited about HER chair at OUR table and even more excited that HER chair is already at Jesus's Table!

Time Heals No Wounds

There is a well-treasured saying that even Christians take comfort from during times of duress and tragedy, "Time heals all wounds." 

May I just tell you loudly - I OBJECT!! Time has no inherent healing power. Only God has healing power! I know women who are just as bitter and angry today as they were ten years ago. Time hasn't healed their souls. I know women who are playing the blame game louder today than they were 30 years ago. Time has not healed these exhausted, hoarse women. 

Only Jesus has healing power and so if you have a broken heart and long for comfort, then you must burrow into His presence where miracles happen not because of time, but because of Him. Are you allowing the nurturing closeness that He gives especially to the brokenhearted to heal your heart today? 

No one can mend a broken heart but the Lord. Other people's words will encourage you and bring a measure of healing but the ultimate healing is always from the Lord. Kind deeds and gestures may remove the sting from a broken heart, but nothing and no one other than the Lord can place that crowning healing touch on your life. He has the power, love and divine skill to actually cure you from the extraordinary pain that you are going through. 

God is able to restore your soul and perform a spiritual heart transplant if that is what it takes to move you into health and hope again. This seems impossible when you have a broken heart but it is not impossible to God! The will of God is always restoration and healing. 

We can easily understand the concept that the Holy Spirit is endeavoring to communicate through the psalmist in the phrase, " - and binds up their wounds." The word picture that is being painted through the Hebrew language is the beautiful illustration of a tailor gently mending and sewing together that which was torn apart. If you have a broken heart, friend, I know Someone who has the expert skills to easily and perfectly mend it. Not only is He able to repair your broken heart, but He has the desire to do it.

I refuse to sink

My heart is heavy as I cry out to The Lord, forgive me, for the fear that overtakes me.

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “FEAR NOT, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?

And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Of David. The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock.

I refuse to sink....

Sharon Sterling Allen

Brookhaven, MS · 

We talked about words in Sunday School yesterday...good words and bad words and how they affect you. Every book I've read recently has talked about letting go. I almost hyperventilate thinking about that. I cannot imagine letting go of my Haley. In my mind I know they don't mean forgetting your child, the words just seem harsh right now. Today I read a post on a grief blog that makes more sense to me. It talked about shifting. Yes, I am working hard on shifting. I am trying to shift to the good memories and "let go" of the memories of the last day. Our family is trying to shift from thinking about our loss to thinking of our blessings. We are shifting from thinking about what Haley didn't get to experience to how many lives she touched in her 21 years. Every day I hear a story of how Haley has touched somebody that she had never met. It makes you think about what your legacy will be. Will people remember you as being compassionate and friendly, always ready to listen as was Haley? What a learning experience this has been for me!

What do you Long for?

We all loaded up Friday full of energy, laughs and coffee. We were excited to get away and have a little fun! I was uneasy. Praying constantly "Lord keep me together" please. I just want to be like everyone else with there minds wandering on shopping, eating and The Lord. Yes I do still think on normal things but usually my happy thoughts are shot down with doubt-insecurity and Bella. You see.. She literally consumes me, my every thought. all . day . Long. We just take every single moment for granted. I long for The Lord to consume me the way she does. It is a constant battle in my mind between satans negative thoughts and Jesus my Savior. Anyways we ate and ate some more and headed to see Beth Moore! Here is what I brought home after a weekend of great friends and worshiping our Savior!

What do you long for??? If your like me your a bit puzzled at the question. I hope this helps you. 

A longing is defined as a desire, a lust, to covet, to literally stretch out with the hands to reach after. We long for Love and for relationships. We desire things of this world and once they are attained we desire something else.

Did you know The Lord longs for you?? Have you ever Longed for him? Honestly I have lived 27 years not trouble free, but under the thought process that I had it ALL under control myself. I didn't need God but just every now and then. But Geez Louise I can not make it a day without him now. Not a minute. I would break and break everyone with me. Satan could use me to destroy my whole family and I stand or sit lol here now and I REFUSE to let him. I honestly Long for The Lord, I need him... I pray each of you would need him like I do. To feel helpless and own your own is no way to live. Trust Jesus... Reach for him... He will hold your hand or carry you which ever you need.

I am feeble and sorely broken; I have groaned because of the disquiet of my heart.
Lord, all my desires are known to Thee; and my groaning is not hidden from Thee.
My heart panteth, my strength faileth me; as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me. 
Psalm 38:8-10

1) All our Longings lie open before The Lord. 

2)  If it is not long, it's not a longing. 

3) If it never aches, it is not intense enough for longing.

Some people put lids on there longings and some people hang theirselves by them.

Therefore The Lord LONGS to be gracious to you, and therefore he waits on high to have compassion on you. For The Lord is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who LONG for him.     Isaiah 30:18

A longing is a want for so long it becomes a need for your soul.

4) A longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Not The tree of life but A tree.

And he showed me a pure river of the Water of Life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb. In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, there was the Tree of Life, which bore twelve kinds of fruit and yielded her fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.     Revelation 22:1-2

For we are Gods handiwork created in Christ unto good works which God has before ordained that we should walk in them.     Ephesians 2:10

For I recon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us for the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.  Romans 8:18-19

5) If God prepared it, we were wired to long for it. You got that??? If God prepared it we were wired to long for it?? I had to say that one several times! In other words we try to fill the void we long for with desires. Which does not work... If God prepared it, we are wired for it!

6) We are created to long for companionship.

7) Lust is the souls demand to shortcut a longing fulfilled.

8) We long for Grace.

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day and not only to me, but also to all who have LONGED for his appearing.     2 Timothy 4:6-8

9) We Long for God.

So what do you long for? Jesus or the world? I long for Jesus and for him to use Me, he has a master plan and he wired me to long for him. I long to reach others to help them seek his face. To help place your hand in his. I Pray Lord use me.. I pray you mend me and my broken pieces into a beautiful pitcher overflowing with your Love and compassion. Use my loss as your gain. Keep my eyes on you. Thank you Lord for answered prayers for friends who understand me and love me despite my shortcomings. You have overcame the world! In Jesus name Amen. And amen!

Everything high must come down
Every stronghold shall be broken
He wears the victors crown!! Praise Jesus He overcame the world!

Praying for a Rainbow

 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth. Gen 9:16

Everything is beautiful then the rain comes, lightening strikes and trees fall. All the rain stops and out comes a rainbow from behind the clouds. This is a great example of my life, it's still raining and were praying for a rainbow. Rainbows do not always come after the rain but sometimes they do. This is my fear.
What if our rainbow never comes??

Lord I put my hope, my trust, what's left of me...the shattered pieces of my once beautiful in my own eyes life, all in your hands.  I want to hope, dream and trust but my flesh is scared of death. Help me to trust you and you alone and only listen for your voice. 
 In Jesus name, Amen.

Lathered up in anger Thanking Jesus he has set me free.

That's what my flesh wants to do. Lather up, soak and let the smell of anger and hurt soak deep inside my pores. Ever feel that way??? I want to lick my wounds a little longer a good friend of mine once said. I can picture an animal licking there wound. That's kinda what I felt like today. Weird huh. I know. An animal of all things.. Ready to pounce and attack. I stood and tried to compose myself every way I knew how and all that happened was nothing...
So I went to a quiet place not really looking for Jesus's face but knowing I needed him if I wanted to survive this. Hurt so bad by ones we love. And they say they love us. The firey flaming arrows of satan thrown at me while at my weakest ever.
 Before I knew it God was speaking to me, not in a quite voice because I assure you I wasn't trying to find him, He actually sang to me... Loudly.. The words

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown, where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours, and You are mine

Such a beautiful song. I'm not perfect people nor do I claim to be. I'm a Hott mess any way you look at me. I sin more often than I would like to admit, But my Jesus loves me the same.
Lord thank you for saving me from the firey arrows thrown at me today. Forgive me Lord for waisting my time  entertaining demons. Keep my eyes above the waves when the ocean rise. I pray for anyone reading this, that they find peace during life's struggles and seek your face first. In Jesus sweet name Amen..❤️❤️Cherish

Stand firm therefore, having girded you loins with truth, and having out on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace, in addition to al, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the FLAMING arrows of the evil one. Ephesians 6: 14-16

Me and my big mouth

It's been two months... And it honestly feels more like two years. The days alone drag by with a feeling of no purpose. I thought I'd be holding a baby, changing diapers and fixing bottles. Instead I'm seeking Gods face. I'm in no way thankful that we lost or baby, but I am thankful for God choosing me to carry her. Because of Bella our lives have turned in another direction, one I never thought it would. I have always loved to talk... My husband would say to much! We all have gifts from God! And he calls us to use them. Before my talking was pretty much useless... Babbling on about pretties and such.. What I thought I needed and wanted. I would have never called my talking a gift lol!! Never! If anything a curse because it always seemed to get me into more trouble. Anyways... I'm trying to think more before I speak and remember everyone is fighting a hard battle. I pray now that only encouraging things come out of my mouth! None of that useless babble. I'm pretty sure the bible speaks against it! So pray for me and that I use this "gift" of talking to honor our God and Not myself. 

Submit your prayer request

Please submit your prayer request.

     The reason for this blog is for those of you suffering from grief to have a place to come and share. To hopefully be encouraged and to seek Gods face and let him heal you. There are hundreds of people viewing! Imagine if we all prayed for you! Please submit your request in the comments. Me and my family would love to pray for you, and I'm sure others will to! 💗💗💗Cherish

The Good the Bad and the Ugly..

     God has revealed the good the bad and the terribly ugly these last 7 weeks. My heart is broken, well shattered would be a better word to use. My stomach stays in knots. Anxiety overtakes me at the sight of a new face. Do they know??? I ask myself. I'm not afraid someone will mention her but instead afraid someone won't.. Nothing hurts worse than for someone to ignore the fact we lost our child. She was ours for almost 9 months. We had plans of forever plans together. 

     I was once on the other side where alot of people are, I understand you don't know what to say because I once didn't know what to say. But I assure you if you have a friend or know someone with a loss they want you to talk about it. A simple I'm sorry will do. Acknowledge their sweet baby and how they made a difference in your lives. I believe it's apart of the healing process to talk to share and write. Some of my closest friends and family seem to ignore it and pretend it didn't happen others embrace it and encourage me. 

     It hurts people, it hurts bad, every day all day. We smile and put on our best makeup and perfume but inside we are All fighting a hard battle. Wether your battle is a loss or something else, Give it to God. He will mend your shattered heart and your broken spirit. I couldn't make it without my sweet Jesus and my sweet friends.

 

To: Kayla, Megan, Alex, Leah and Ainsley.

     Thank you all for standing beside me threw these ugly days. We have had some good laughs and good cries! Yal mean more than you will ever know to me. In my eyes yal have helped save me from drowning. Yal have worked together just like the bible says, You have been the body of Christ working together for my good! I Love each of you! 💗💋cherish

An idol mind is the devils workshop

              Such a true statement. I find myself trying to stay busy and trying to fill my mind with positive and encouraging things and positive people. If I didn't I would drown in sorrow and grief. The mad cycle of emotions would spin like a thousand roller coasters. Around and around they would go. Never stopping to let me off. I Praise God because he has the key!
        Because of this I have had to make some really hard decisions regarding friendships. It's good to stop.. and look at who you are around, what are we doing? Are our actions bringing glory to Gods name?? 1 Corinthians 15: 33 tells us " Do not be deceived: bad company corrupts good morals" so I encourage you to take a look at your life, ask yourself "Am I pleasing God?" I'm asking now... I don't want to be a discourager or someone who boasts loudly or a gossip girl. I don't want to be that friend you call when you just want to rant. I just want to be like Jesus... And keep busy with kingdom things.
How about you?

Easter Sunday day 12

Today has been the hardest.. Not quite how I had dreamed Easter would be. Reality hit... I'm off all pain meds most people have stopped calling and texting and now it's back to cooking and cleaning for myself and my baby just died... The world keeps going and I just want it to stop. I cryed as I tried to enjoy the morning but everything fell apart, no eggs, I burned the chocolate for Easter candy and then it hit me.. My precious baby girl was not here and she couldn't wear her Easter dress and I couldn't hold her. I sobbed for hours as I felt my world falling apart.. What about me... What about me.. I imagined everyone taking Easter pictures with there babies and I didn't have mine.
I forgot Again about my two precious boys you had already given me, Timmy my husband and Gauge my son. Ooo how I have taken everything for granted. I began to find myself angry today and a bit doubtful for the first time, Please Lord forgive me you know I don't understand.
We chose to stay home because my emotional state was not stable enough for a crowd. I don't like people to see me cry I feel like I need to apologize. I'm sure all this is just Satan. So I retreated to my cold iron tub as always to read and ooo did God have a word for me! Job 30:27 and Isaiah 43 1-3
I don't want to move on Lord or get back to reality. I want to stay in this humble state with your arms around me waiting for you to help me make my next move. Thank you Lord for Bella and how she has changed our lives!

Six months ago if you would have asked me would I ever consider having a blog my answer would be absolutely not, that's for people with nothing to do and that's not me. Welp... Here I am attempting to start a blog. Not for myself but for others. First of all I'm not an English scholar nor am I even good at writing but  I have found great comfort reading other blogs of women like me who have experienced a loss. It helps me to know that other normal women have survived! I love reading about there journey in life after loss, because at times it seems there is none. I have prayed about this for a while and I'm certain this is a God thing. To help me heal and to hopefully somehow inspire others like me to give there pain to the Ultimate Healer of hearts💗💗. Id love for you to tag along ask questions or whatever your supposed to do on these blogs!! Much Love.. Cherish

This is our story Praising our Savior all the day long.

     May 1, 2014- The day we prepared to celebrate life for our Sweet Bella here on earth. It never once crossed our minds that we could lose our precious 36-week old baby girl we had dreamed of. As we headed to the hospital with the thoughts that my water had broken, we just knew she would be tiny... But so Beautiful. My only request to God was black hair just like her daddy. Gauge was ready with his pink shirt to match. Her room was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined... Coral flamingos we just knew she would be what completed our family. We couldn't wait to see her sleeping in all her precious new gowns. For 9 months we had planned birthdays in our minds. We even had an Easter dress in case she was a little early. I had enough clothes to clothe a small army. She was ours... We THOUGHT. How could she not be?   To remember that night gives me chills all over deep inside, a terror one cannot describe...On Tuesday, April 8, 2014, after a day of work and Bible study, Our Mighty God Chose Bella to come home with Him, The ultimate Maker, and be among the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven! As hard as it is to process, we know without doubt she is in His hands, being loved with a love no earthly parent can offer. As for our family we have also learned to Love in a much deeper way. God has revealed so many things to us all for his Glory! I have moments of rage, pure terror, sorrow and guilt. Not guilt that I could have changed anything, but a guilt of not Loving enough being selfish and not completely giving my all to Christ when He trusted me to care for HIS child not mine. All these feelings pass most times within and hour, and above all I have an indescribable peace that only My Savior can give. Do not let satan steal your peace. I have learned how he works, and he loves weak, hurting Christians. If you do not know Jesus as your personal friend and Savior, I ask that you to give him your All.. Absolute All.. Give all your pain and hurts to him now, and I Promise you He will give you that peace worth living for! Without His peace and assurance, we my friends would have no hope. It dosent matter what you have done, He will forgive you. Just ask. Pray to our Mighty God now... If you wait, it could be too late. We, my friends, are not guaranteed anything especially life on earth. We have learned first hand.
                                                             So take His hand.
   Bella Glen Montgomery with not a single breath on earth is ministering already. What a Blessing.
I will praise you in this Storm...