Geez is say... All the time. This never ending cycle of grief is ever changing. I wish I could say we were better but we're not. We're just taking life one day at a time, always thanking God for our Precious little girl. As a whole our family is growing closer together and closer to Christ. We're doing things we would have never considered before loss and honestly it's not something I would have ever been proud of, but this time To God be All the Glory.
It's hard to tell what's right in grieving. So I've decided there is no right or wrong just whatever makes you feel right at that moment, because every moment changes. Some days I go in Bella's room and my breath is literally taken away by grief and madness. Other times I find myself rearranging putting her stuff up and out of sight. Some days I pull it all back out and display it. I'm so proud of my little girl... So proud of how God has used us and molded us into something better than before. Some small minded people have called me bipolar which stabs me at the core, they obviously have never lost a child. People wonder if I need help... counseling.... There she goes writing again.. Someone needs to stop her... No one wants to be confronted with grief but it's something you experience and it Cannot be ignored or forgotten. All we can do is cry out to God. He alone has the power to heal, mend or reform and this is what we're experiencing... A healing and reforming. He is slowly taking our broken pieces and shaping us into something beautiful... Taking ashes and creating a new creature. Please continue to pray for us as we face all the firsts that will never be. Pray for us as we pray for another blessing from The Lord. We're trying to be strong but satan knows where we are weak and most days his attacks lead to a night of tears. If you have lost a child I'm praying for you..
Open our eyes Lord so we can see that your shaping us, Lord we need you to soften our hearts and break us apart, pierce threw the dark and cleanse every part of us. Give us Faith Lord to trust what you say. We're broken and we give you our lives. Your good Lord and your Love is Great! We may be weak but your spirits strong in us, our flesh may fail but God you Never will!!! Thank you Lord!
You keep writing honey. It does something for the soul to see the pain flow from your heart to a screen or paper and know someone else is seeing the intimate parts of your pain. I've read so many of your post and I cannot begin to fathom what you go through daily. I've prayed for you and your family so many times. I imagine somedays just making oxygen is about all you can bare but your strength and courage is unbelievable and your faith as well. Keep writin
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