God is Bigger than that black horse.
   I'm writing today because it encourages me.. And hopefully others too. I need encouraging today well everyday really. Life can be so dang hard sometimes. The horses are high the valleys are so deep and people are just selfish, uncaring and downright evil sometimes. Im going to apologize in advance for my lack of comas/correct spelling I'm not really feeling correctness today!
I just want to share what's on my heart.
   Life in denial runs so smoothly. You do this, go there and head to church because that's just what we do! Right? Some of us stop and pray. Some read devotions. Some give their time and money. But why? Maybe because they are answering Gods call for their life and they are being obedient. Maybe because it's all they know to do?? Maybe.. I just don't know.. Anyways.. We won't try to figure it out now. You can ponder your motives later today.
    Life has been crazy busy for me... Mostly mentally because I'm not keeping up with housework or anything else. Antyways... And yes I meant to put that t in there! This weekend I had the privilege to attend a women's conference. I honestly went to avoid reality. Ya know the piles of clothes and stuff none of us want to do. I think we all went a little burdened. A little under the weather. Kinda not focused on hearing Gods word. I'm positive some women there were focused on the right thing. But not I. Sorry. I'm just being honest. The music was brought by the sweetest voice I have ever herd. Now I'm a music person.. And if you want to move me.. Play some music! But I wasn't moved at first like normal. It was beautiful though... Then a lady I have known a very long time came up to speak and I refuse to be honest with my thoughts at this point. But when she spoke.. It was like God was speaking to me! He was speaking through her I just know it... See I knew her while she herself was in denial/doing the right things for the wrong reasons. I always looked up to her for her knowledge of the Lord and His word. She was always so encouraging willing to sit me down and talk with me and tell me scripture that she clung to in hard times. Yeah at times I had to scratch my head but I would have never known. That she wasn't REAL. She admitted her mess and told her story of hurt, betrayal and attempted suicide. She told of her going to bible study and church and reading her bible. She admitted she didn't have it all together. And there was freedom in her life and freedom in Christ when she just admitted she was a mess. And God has taken her mess and created a beautiful message. It spoke to me for sure. Cause I'm a mess. It's easy to admit that we can't keep up with daily tasks but it's not so easy to admit we are a failure when it comes to serving Christ. After that sweet lady spoke then came another one. Most eyes and ears were ready to listen by that point or at least mine were because I   knew God was in that place! Im a little speechless on that testimony. All I can say is God is so good! And if he can tackle those messes surely he can handle me! So.. I was filled with the Spirit.. My faith renewed I hopped on that high horse. Came home preaching to the family telling them all I had been listening to. And how blessed we were to have what we have. We should be thankful right?? Proud of our hard work and earnings and oh so very proud of the day's approaching the birth of our rainbow baby Ellanor Ann. We headed to the creek for some much needed family time. Up Sunday for church while some were sleeping the night off. We gots it all together I thought. Except for Timmy forgot clean pants and they wreaked with smoke and gauge didn't bring his church shoes and... We forgot to make sure we had hot water for baths in the camper... But we pretended well I think! Made it to church on time and all! Then In the blink of an eye bad news came... And I fell off that horse and Lord it hurt. Anyone seen that big black horse on Facebook? He is huge and I was riding on him or her whatever you get it! Lord why do we have to act like fools? Why do we have to be so proud. Geez there is more to life than money.. Life is not about things.. It's not about trying to appear to be something we are not. We were created for one single purpose.. Christ... To serve Christ and that's it!!
I have fell off my horse so many times, the first time was a long time ago when me and Timmy split for a short time, the next time we lost our Bella Glen, then my best friend lost her dad and now she could have lost her child. The Lord has always been faithful throughout... Always providing a safe place for me to run. I am so so so thankful for that safe place. Do you have a safe place to run? Or do you just run to the bottle? Are you just going to church because that's what we are supposed to do? Or are you going to hear from God? It's best to right now just climb off that horse... Don't think your riding a horse.. My advice is to check yo self before you wreck yo self.. Ask the Lord for forgiveness before you fall off. None of us are promised anything. It can all be gone in a second. We have all been given many chances to get it right. Seek the Lord and you will find Him.. Waiting.. Saying come child why have you waited so long! Lord I want so much more of you and less of me. Every high thing must come down. Stay humble my friends. Falls come when we least expect them..