God is Bigger than that black horse.
   I'm writing today because it encourages me.. And hopefully others too. I need encouraging today well everyday really. Life can be so dang hard sometimes. The horses are high the valleys are so deep and people are just selfish, uncaring and downright evil sometimes. Im going to apologize in advance for my lack of comas/correct spelling I'm not really feeling correctness today!
I just want to share what's on my heart.
   Life in denial runs so smoothly. You do this, go there and head to church because that's just what we do! Right? Some of us stop and pray. Some read devotions. Some give their time and money. But why? Maybe because they are answering Gods call for their life and they are being obedient. Maybe because it's all they know to do?? Maybe.. I just don't know.. Anyways.. We won't try to figure it out now. You can ponder your motives later today.
    Life has been crazy busy for me... Mostly mentally because I'm not keeping up with housework or anything else. Antyways... And yes I meant to put that t in there! This weekend I had the privilege to attend a women's conference. I honestly went to avoid reality. Ya know the piles of clothes and stuff none of us want to do. I think we all went a little burdened. A little under the weather. Kinda not focused on hearing Gods word. I'm positive some women there were focused on the right thing. But not I. Sorry. I'm just being honest. The music was brought by the sweetest voice I have ever herd. Now I'm a music person.. And if you want to move me.. Play some music! But I wasn't moved at first like normal. It was beautiful though... Then a lady I have known a very long time came up to speak and I refuse to be honest with my thoughts at this point. But when she spoke.. It was like God was speaking to me! He was speaking through her I just know it... See I knew her while she herself was in denial/doing the right things for the wrong reasons. I always looked up to her for her knowledge of the Lord and His word. She was always so encouraging willing to sit me down and talk with me and tell me scripture that she clung to in hard times. Yeah at times I had to scratch my head but I would have never known. That she wasn't REAL. She admitted her mess and told her story of hurt, betrayal and attempted suicide. She told of her going to bible study and church and reading her bible. She admitted she didn't have it all together. And there was freedom in her life and freedom in Christ when she just admitted she was a mess. And God has taken her mess and created a beautiful message. It spoke to me for sure. Cause I'm a mess. It's easy to admit that we can't keep up with daily tasks but it's not so easy to admit we are a failure when it comes to serving Christ. After that sweet lady spoke then came another one. Most eyes and ears were ready to listen by that point or at least mine were because I   knew God was in that place! Im a little speechless on that testimony. All I can say is God is so good! And if he can tackle those messes surely he can handle me! So.. I was filled with the Spirit.. My faith renewed I hopped on that high horse. Came home preaching to the family telling them all I had been listening to. And how blessed we were to have what we have. We should be thankful right?? Proud of our hard work and earnings and oh so very proud of the day's approaching the birth of our rainbow baby Ellanor Ann. We headed to the creek for some much needed family time. Up Sunday for church while some were sleeping the night off. We gots it all together I thought. Except for Timmy forgot clean pants and they wreaked with smoke and gauge didn't bring his church shoes and... We forgot to make sure we had hot water for baths in the camper... But we pretended well I think! Made it to church on time and all! Then In the blink of an eye bad news came... And I fell off that horse and Lord it hurt. Anyone seen that big black horse on Facebook? He is huge and I was riding on him or her whatever you get it! Lord why do we have to act like fools? Why do we have to be so proud. Geez there is more to life than money.. Life is not about things.. It's not about trying to appear to be something we are not. We were created for one single purpose.. Christ... To serve Christ and that's it!!
I have fell off my horse so many times, the first time was a long time ago when me and Timmy split for a short time, the next time we lost our Bella Glen, then my best friend lost her dad and now she could have lost her child. The Lord has always been faithful throughout... Always providing a safe place for me to run. I am so so so thankful for that safe place. Do you have a safe place to run? Or do you just run to the bottle? Are you just going to church because that's what we are supposed to do? Or are you going to hear from God? It's best to right now just climb off that horse... Don't think your riding a horse.. My advice is to check yo self before you wreck yo self.. Ask the Lord for forgiveness before you fall off. None of us are promised anything. It can all be gone in a second. We have all been given many chances to get it right. Seek the Lord and you will find Him.. Waiting.. Saying come child why have you waited so long! Lord I want so much more of you and less of me. Every high thing must come down. Stay humble my friends. Falls come when we least expect them..

Today's story

The real story of today. I love how Facebook makes people's lives look so perfect, matching clothes and perfect white smiles. No one sees the real struggle it was to snap that perfect picture. Boasting and bragging on all things worldly. Lives are perfect all around the world, who knew? Well I would love to have posted the perfect smiling picture this morning boasting about how excited I was for my first official Ob appointment today. Normally I would prance in proudly but not today, no heels and skinny jeans for me. I'll wear sweatpants and a tee. Only waterproof mascara and on the top only, forget perfume, lipgloss and perfect painted toes. All that doesn't matter anyway it won't guarantee good results. With vomiting on my mind I just want to get this over with... 
I know that sounds terrible I'm not sugarcoating this one.(I might eat it)! Everyone tells me Gods got this, I tell everyone the same and He does! He also has my daughter. But I still put my trust in the Lord He will not forsake me. He has not left my side, He has given me what strength I have needed to make it threw each and every day. Some days haven't been as pretty as others and my God does not promise all pretty days. Actually quite the opposite. It seems the hardest days I have faced, I have had no place to go but my knees in prayer  and that's where I need to stay. It's so sad that such tragedy has to be what reminds us that we need the Lord. We seriously need to wake up... End rant.. Anyways... I had No excited bone in my body as I drove blinded by the tears and sun in my eyes. Waiting room filled with big bellies and crying babies. Hold it together Cherish.. You can do this..remember all the people praying... But then I remember my last visit here left with no hope of bringing a child home. This time will be different I tell myself over again. They call my name to fill out this fancy computer questionnaire... I had to go threw every pregnancy with details.. Pregnancy #1 miscarried at 12 weeks. #2 healthy baby  #3 healthy but born still and there wasn't an option for that outcome.  #4 miscarried at 5 weeks. And here goes #5. Only God knows about this one! Anyways the wait seemed forever and finally it was time to weigh and see Dr. Gray. She was wonderful today and has been throughout every pregnancy. I honestly can't imagine having to tell someone I'm sorry there is no heartbeat..would you like to be awake during delivery? No just kill me now please. Sooo I have serious respect for this woman and how she has handled every situation we have been in. All that aside, I did get to hear that precious heart beat today it was 170. We are pleading with God for a healthy alive baby and healthy pregnancy. And no we are not praying for a girl. Kinda thinking its a boy! And boys are tons of fun! Couldn't make it without Gauge and my other child from another mother Timmy lol. 

    At first I wanted to be supermom and not find out the gender. Figured it would be less stress on me and the baby, and what a surprise it would be!! Well supermom up and flew away lol. Your welcome to talk me out of it if you want! Anyways... 

Thank you all for your support and Thank you all for your prayers, they are what keep me going! If you need prayer I would love to pray for you! I don't have magic words but I do know a God who is in the business of miracles! As I'm writing this I'm reminded of the song by Jimmy Needham..  Clear the Stage.

Anything I put before my God is an idol, anything I want with all my heart is an idol, anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol. 

Lord help me not to get this one wrong. All idols aside I need You Lord, and if your plans include a healthy baby that would be awesome! Peace Love and always Flamingos...

The Fruits of the Spirit.. Take one

It's been a while since I have written on here.. So sorry... Life has been fast pace lately! Anyways... In an effort to slow down I started this study on The Fruits of the Spirit. Everyone knows them.. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control. But do you really know them? On a personal level? Maybe... Lol.. Maybe not. I thought I did but oh what God will teach you when you seek to learn and teach! 

So here is a taste of the Fruits of the Spirit! These are not my words but words and scripture from She Reads Truth. I don't think anyone could put it any clearer.. 

In red letters Jesus says this... 

In John 14.. 15-26

"If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father,and I too will love them and show myself to them. Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world? Jesus replied, Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

Galatians 5:19-23 says..

Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I tell you about these things in advance—as I told you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.


Until we repent of our sinfulness and lean wholly on the perfection of Jesus, we humans remain stuck in the cycle of that first list, powerless to break free. Even works of flesh we believers call “good” cannot gain us entrance to the Kingdom of God. But when we call out to Christ for salvation, we receive mercy, forgiveness, and freedom—and we receive the Holy Spirit, a gift promised by Christ Himself.

Jesus knows us all the way through. He knows our forgetful hearts💕And in His grace He leaves His very Spirit to be our helper, our comforter, our advocate. This is Christ’s gift to us, the far-off ones, bringing and keeping us close to God—not a “reach out and touch you” kind of close, but closer still. As close as our own breath is the Spirit of Christ to us. That is not mere hope or speculation, that is a promise from God’s Word! 

Friends, those good things Paul lists in Galatians 5:22-23 are not borne of our best efforts. The fruit of the Spirit is borne only of the Spirit. Only by abiding in Him, resting in His goodness and trusting Him to do the hard work of redemption on our behalf, can we bear fruit. 

Let's  repent of every bit of goodness we’ve tried to squeeze out on our own. Let’s lay down the fruit we’ve tried to produce with good intention, self improvement and striving, and let’s see God as the source of everything good. May we hide and abide in the perfect life and love of Christ. 

Peace, love and flamingos 

Finally a day to breathe... and breathe again.. 

     Sooo... I have always loved change.. Not quarters and pennies though! The kind of change that makes you happy! Like a new pillow or picture, new rugs and paint... Those things can make you feel different, they can encourage peace and make you smile. I love new sheets I always hope I'll sleep better in them. I love pretty plates to eat on and really all things pretty... 

    But these pretty things create only a temporary happiness. They have zero eternal lasting whatever you call it! So these days ahead I'm looking for eternal happiness, a change that's going to make a difference in my life.We are called to serve others and not ourselves! But how can we serve others when all we do is work so that we can have more things?? You can't... Unless maybe you don't sleep! Soooo... I officially have 5 days left in my 7 year long cosmetology career and I couldn't be more excited! I'm looking forward to spending time with the people I love, and most of all spending time with my Jesus! I will also be attending The Walk to Emmaus this weekend, I just can't imagine what God has in store for me! Pray for me as I go on this spiritual retreat and as I come home to enjoy the simple things in life. I pray God will use up all my spare time for his glory! 

Peace, Love and Flamingos.. Cherish

Who am I in Christ?

The struggle is real...

Emotions all over the place and I just want more of you Jesus. But how can I find you in this mess of a busy life I have created? 

    So who am I in Christ? I say to myself in the midst of tear filled eyes. 

Remind me someone please....

I am Complete in Christ. Colossians 2:10

I am alive with Christ. Ephesians 2:5

I am free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:2

I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me. Isaiah   54:14

I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me. 1John 5:18

I am holy and without blame before Him in love. Ephesians 1:4

I have the peace of God that passes all understanding. Philippians  4:7

I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ. Romans 5:17

I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith. Ephesians 6:16

I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever. Thank you Lord for giving me your word for encouragement just when I need it! Thank you Jesus.

I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works. Help me Lord to not get so caught up in life that I miss the reason you created me! Don't ever forget who you are in Christ! Peace Love and Flamingos... 

Not all who wander are lost

Not all who wander are lost. I just LoVe that statement! So true in so very many ways! I picture myself in the deep woods wandering following the beauty God created. Get off the beaten path everyone else travels. Isn't the path narrow to Christ? I think "we" often think because someone isn't doing the traditional thing that there lost. Right? Geez.. Hitler had tons of followers and Jesus had 12. I'll stick to the road less traveled! How about you? Get lost in Gods word! Loose the so called "friends" who take you down the wide beaten path! On the road less traveled you might get in some briars, break your ankle or get poison oak and everyone else may seem to walk seamlessly but remember there reward is the lack of briars! So I got a little lost in Gods word and oh what I found. I just love this scripture... Such good good stuff....

Psalms 139

1 You have searched me Lord and you know me
2 You know when I sit and when I rise.

You perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
You are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
You, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
IfI settle on the far side of the sea,
10 Even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 Even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;

I count them my enemies.

Search me, God and know my heart;

Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

That's a scripture to get lost in! 

Just a reflection

So today I finally have a moment to reflect. Literally a moment..between clothes washing, paint drying and my third cup of coffee making. I look over the list of people who attended the funeral in tears, I read the cards everyone sent and I remember.... Every. Single. Thing. I remember all the pain, the tears and the sleepless nights tossing and wondering if it's all just a bad dream. The words "calm down" and "I'm sorry there is no heartbeat" ring over and over.  And over and over and over.... You get the point. With all that said and out of the way, what I really remember today is where I am now. Yes I hate that my house is quite and there is no toddler spilling juice on my new rug. I hate that "Bella's room" is now where the Christmas mess is and I hate even more that I have HAD to call it the "junk room" again. 

But I do Love...Love...Love. What I have learned in this storm. That God can take the biggest ugliest mess you have and make something beautiful out of it. Im a work in progress not due for completion until Heavens gates open!

Im in Love this messy life God has given me.

I'm Grateful. I'm Blessed. I'm Alive...and Loved by the King of all Kings! What's a little more rain Lord? You are much greater than all my pain! Lord take me deeper than my feet could ever wander... my faith will be made stronger... In the presence of my Savior... In the presence of my Savior is where I sit waiting on the rain and praying for a rainbow. Please if you would, join us in prayer!